Sinking Ted, captain of the recently capsized Cruz Ship Canada, just excitedly appointed his new First Mate, Carly Fiorina.
“I would say that Ted Cruz is just like any other politician. He says one thing in Manhattan. He says another thing in Iowa. He says whatever he needs to say to get elected, and then he’s going to do as he pleases. I think the American people are tired of the political class that promises much and delivers much of the same.” – Carly Fiorina
Cruz has been romantically linked to Fiorina campaign staffer, Sarah Flores, in an unchallenged exposé by the National Enquirer.
— TheLastRefuge (@TheLastRefuge2) March 25, 2016
Cruz’s super PAC ‘Keep the Promise’ previously donated $500,000 to Fiorina’s super PAC ‘Carly For America’ before she was a failed candidate for president. Some have speculated this was hush money to keep his affair under wraps.
Grandma Carly has served as bodyguard for Cheatin’ Ted when asked by reporters about the allegations of infidelity.
“I find it odd that Sen. Ted Cruz did not renounce his dual Canadian citizenship until 2014 when it became clear he was running for president.”– Carly Fiorina